Life in the fast lane

It’s been 14 days since my part-time (full time??) slaves left for the land “down unda” – aka holiday in the sun for a month.. what a hardship the pensioners have…

Surviving just fine to tell the tale, I might add.

Today was one of those days that I decided to SLAY being the 1950’s housewife that I am. Given that we’re currently renovating a house from top to bottom (or.. middle and other rooms and bits and bobs for now?!!) and that I had a physio appointment (due to being a total whack job and being so busy my wrists have given out.. so much stroller steering.. so much dog walking.. so little time. The Hustle) had an important afternoon tea to attend, had a jillion errands to run & housewife-esque work to do, not to mention a baby who naps and eats and whatever else it is that Infant does, and a busy, mental Hairy Toddler.. it wasn’t an easy feat… BUT I DID IT. All thanks to things like modern day technology.. so no. I couldn’t have done it in 1950. You didn’t need to tell me that, so shut up.

You too can cram in more daily crapola, if you rely on technology too. Take this bedtime story time. The story book channel reads to my kid FOR ME, so that I can be EXTRA 1950’s and handle the family ironing. And by family I mean Husband’s extensive dress shirt collection.

Thank god for technology & thank god for wine. Filled to the top. Ain’t nobody got time for people who put a shot-measure of wine in a giant wineglass. Ain’t nobody got time for multiple trips to the fridge- I just admit to myself in advance that I plan to drink a full glass. No sense in being snobby & basic about it. (For the elderly readers and foreigners.. “basic”: gals that are only interested in things mainstream, popular and trending.. aka the pompous glass to wine ratio. Who knows.. maybe you’re basic too. I will still talk to you. Maybe.)

The only one suffering slightly since the parental unit slaves decided that February was better spent away from the snowy abyss, is none other than Hairy Toddler. We haven’t been doing 1:1 walks together & quite frankly, I can only cuddle one of the children at a time. He deeply misses his BFF & today, while he was sulkily walking along with me, I noticed some of these on the mailboxes around town. He claims to not know where they came from.

He is even in protest with me because I pay attention to Infant sometimes. HT demands 100% of attention or none at all. He’s a black and white (brown and white?!!) kind of guy.

Here are his earlier attempts (protests) at getting me to ditch the baby and focus more on “what’s important” (his words, not mine)

He is allowed on the sofa beside me but he sighed and laid down here. He stared at me for a good while with pure attitude.

Only two more weeks until we have slaves again, HT.. but you somehow have difficulty understanding English when I try to explain (why?).

Basically thoughhh, I nailed today & I’m still working. I’m only taking this short break to enjoy my glass (jug??) of vino, before getting back at er. Paying bills, wearing an apron, writing things on a real hard copy calendar, dusting.. whatever else it is that constitutes adulting.

Time to go. Hairy Toddler is barking madly in his sleep. Legs failing. Jowls puffing in and out. So many dream-squirrels, so little time. I may lay down & howl along with him.



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